Thursday, November 8, 2007

I can bring home the bacon.....fry it up in a pan!

Who remembers that old commercial? It was for Enjoli perfume sometime in the late 70s. The lyrics are:

I can put the wash on the line,
Feed the kids, get dressed,
pass out the kisses
and get to work by five to Nine.

I can bring home the bacon,
fry it up in a pan
and never, never, never let you forget your a man.......cause I'm a woman.....Enjoli.

Click here to watch the commercial (hit the back button when you are done). I remember singing the song around the house when I was a teenage girl really not knowing what it meant. What a lie the industry told us women! It is my opinion that there is no way you can do it all and not be on Prozac! I feel that the Women's movement was important and did do some great things, but in other ways, I also think that it totally messed up society and it put so much pressure on women! I think the children are the ones who got the short end of the stick. I am probably going to get a lot of negative comments, but I really do feel that it is true. Yes, the Women's movement helped bring awareness for fair wages for women, more opportunities for women and gave women a stronger voice, but the problem was with saying that you can do it all, both career and family. Also, there was the undertone that a woman could do it all without a man. There is only so much of you to go around and someone is bound to get neglected, be it husband, children, job or the woman herself.

I feel that I can say this from the voice of experience. When I had my first son, Mackenzie, I was a full time Department Manager at a Department Store. I had a budding career and was going to have it all. I was blessed because my wonderful mother took care of Mackenzie for us for the first nine months of his life, so I did not have guilt there, she took such excellent care of him. But when he was 9 months old she was getting a little tired and we put him in a home daycare setting. I few months later I learned that I was expecting our second son Cameron. When it came close to the time Cameron was to be born, Eric and I decided that I would step down from my position and work part-time. It was very hard to be a full time mother and have a full time career, let alone find time for my husband and my homemaking. By the time Grayson came along, we decided I wouldn't work any more and I got to be a stay at home mom for 14 years. For 9 years I was strictly a housewife, but then I started working at home part-time as a medical transcriptionist and did that for 5 years. I have been working outside the home part-time for 3 years now.

My normal schedule is three, eight hour days a week, but for the last two weeks I have had to work 40 hours a week to cover for a co-worker's vacation, and it's KILLING me! No not really, but it is hard and my heart goes out to all those women out there that work full time! You do so much and it is not always easy! It is really, really hard for me to keep up on the goings ons with all my kids and my husband, keeping up with the housework, groceries, laundry, paperwork, grades, friends, emails, blogging, etc. I guess I just know my limits and this has been really hard for me. I can't wait for next week because I am only working two days!

The above commercial to me is a false standard and below is my reality:

Messy computer desk (I don't have time to clean it, but I have time to blog!)

Basket of laundry waiting to be folded (been there for four days)

Really messy laundry room (notice evidence of fast foods....pizza boxes and big can of chili from Halloween - this picture was taken last week!)

Really messy laundry room counter (our catch all place, unread mail, bills, CDs, magazines, menu planning folder, notes, etc.)

Different view of really messy laundry room counter
Quick, instant dinners (unless I am on top of it with the crockpot). These Homestyle Bakes aren't half bad, nice to have in the cupboard for emergencies or days when you forget to defrost meat!
Six days worth of newspapers, unread, no time to read!

And there I am.........the woman who has it all and does it all - dog tired after a day at work, laying on the couch without even taking my coat off! Do I look like the lady in the commercial? I think I am falling short of the goal!

I am not trying to bash women who work full time, in fact I am the opposite. I am amazed by you! How do you do it? I have a couple of friends who make it look so easy! Women who work full time should have a full time housekeeper and cook! I think it is asking a lot for women to expect us to do it all. I applaud those of you out there that are handling it all wonderfully, you must be so organized and have so much energy. I feel like such a wimp because I only worked full time two weeks and it was not that easy for me. I am really thankful that I get to go back to being part time. I think the bottom line is, do your best in your situation and let go of some of society's false standards, pray, pick your priorities and decide for yourself that it is okay to not be perfect in all areas! We should encourage and uplift one another no matter what our situations are!

I think June Cleaver had a good thing going!

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5,6

~ Sharon


17 comments:

nannykim said...

ooops--my laptop was unplugged and I lost what I was saying--I came to your blog to get the applesauce recipe and had to read this post of yours--it was so funny, but true. I stayed at home until my first child went to college--then I found a job I liked with weekly day time hours--I was home when the kids came home (except for summer time!)--but when you work and try to do all of the house stuff you have to let some things slide or you just won't be sane!!! I only worked to help with college expenses. Now my last is in college and I am back home but even know I get involved in so much and am helping with Grandma care---so even now I have to be disciplined!! Got to go food shopping--have a good day ;-). Or blessed day.

Nunnie's Attic said...

I have just recently become a SAHM. And I love it. I'm all for equal pay for equal work. But, I am NO feminist. And I really dislike working with women. I'd work for a man any day than for a woman. My problem with all of these women and having to have a career, etc comes down to a simple question. Why? If you have to work, which I did, then by all means go get 'em. But, if you have a family and can afford to stay home than why aren't you? Instead of trying to prove to the world that you're as good as a man - why not be as good as a woman!

Love,
Julie
p.s. any hate mail you get from this feel free to to send them my way.

Sondra said...

I was very fortunate to be able to stay home with all my boys when they were little. I did have a few part time jobs when they got older. I agree with everything you said. Although I do work full time now but it does not seem like it. I leave for work very early when the kids are still sleeping and then I am off at 2pm in time to pick them all up. I never work weekends and am off on a lot of holidays. It works out very good.
Your mess is nothing compared to mine. Maybe I will put some pics of mine up tonight.
Thanks for keeping me in your prayers-still waiting on results.

joan said...

I tried to do it all once upon a time and couldn't keep up with the home stuff. Bottom line something had to give, so it was the job and I've never regretted it. Now I work from my home but that's a story for another time. Good post!

Mimi said...

You hit the nail on the head... during the years I worked full time... I was always behind on something be it laundry, cleaning or something all the time...
now I work part time... and I stay so busy on my days off, I'm not sure how I did it full time...
I definitely did not look like the three women in the ad... I didn't feel like them either!!

Brenda said...

Amen..Amen..Amen. You have preached so I just have to say amen. I do love the song though hehe.

Maria said...

You hit on the head. Over the years I was a SAHM, work at home mom, work fulltime out of the home mom, work part time out of the home mom and now I am again a SAHM who homeschools. WHEW

I can personally say that I don't think you can do it all and do it all well, something slides somewhere and/or you become insane.

PERSONALLY, I'm a person that can be a working women and do it well, to the point of workaholic and LOVE it. I can be a SAHM and be amazing at home, kids, and even homeschooling if we choose that. I cannot however work fulltime and be the kind of mom my kids deserve. Nor will my house look good. There is so much preservatives in food and thats not good either. So cooking a meal everynight, or just about is important to me.

I will say I am a single mom. We dont have a lot of money and I would prefer to work part time for the extra $$s and I will if I ever don't homeschool. I'm fortunate my daughters father believes in what I am doing with our daughter and supports me.

Great post :)

HumbleHomemaker said...

Sharon, I can totally relate. Your pictures are funny, and I know they are real, because I've been there and done that too. It's hard to be a full time working wife and mother. I don't know how women do it either. I'm thankful I am a stay home mom. I am looking for a job teaching first graders for pay, so that I can still home school my little one, and send the older ones to Christian school. We will see what the Lord holds in the future. We are praying.

Truly, I've never seen your house that messy, except when you were expecting a baby, had the flu or I was visiting with all my kids~contributing to the mess. You are so organized. If I could just have what's in your baby finger of organization skills and creativity, I'd be miles ahead of where I am. You are a great sister and I love you. Kathi

BittersweetPunkin said...

I am a SAHM and I think I was more organized when I worked 40 hours and had less time!! My house resembles yours...all week!! I was trying to clean while schooling the kids but that didn't work our quite so well as I was too distracted!! I don't care about messy houses...we LIVE in ours...it's not a museum that you walk through...(unless company is coming!) LOL
Blessings,
Robin

Cottage Contessa said...

I loved your post, I loved the honesty of it. It's nice to see "real" people living real lives. Thank you for sharing that and taking the pressure off.

I heard these sayings a few years ago and thought they were great.

"I'm sorry the house is a mess, but we LIVE here!"

"I cleaned the house yesterday. Sorry you missed it!"

I hope you have a wonderfully relaxing weekend Sharon!
Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)

Mary said...

Sharon,

Your house isn't so bad considering all that you are doing. I was a single mother for 17 years and worked driving taxi from 11 am to 2 am. Yes, a 14 hour shift. My daughter was 15 when I took the taxi job and she went to school and worked afterward. Our house wasn't always spotless. We can only do what we can do.

Take care and thanks for sharing. I also support women who work full time, keep a house and raise children. They all deserve an amazing woman award.

Blessings,
Mary

Kelly said...

Oh Sharon! You are such a blessing, because you're always so honest, forthright, genuine and faithful to the Lord. :o) This post is awesome! I think you're doing great and kudos!

jennifer in canada said...

Your post and photos really resonated with me!

L said...

Wow, I love your post. Real people don't live in perfectly kept houses. I try put I don't get it all done. Proverbs 3:5,6 is my absolute favorite. I knew I found someplace special when I read that!!!

Leigh Ann

Our Red House said...

Great post, and thank you for your honesty. In a world where so many only ever show perfect home pictures, it's nice to see a real house.

I will probably have to look for some outside work (I work at home currently) when my littlest one starts school to pay education costs for the older ones. I can't say I'm looking forward to it at all!

Kate

Jan Parrish said...

Honey, you are preaching to the choir here. I remember that commercial and it makes me cringe when I see the unrealistic expectations it placed on our generation. You are right. It's impossible to do it all.

June cleaver had it pretty good except when you consider she had to wear a dress and heels everyday. ;)

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