Monday, October 8, 2007

Empty Nest - Full Heart

Well, I woke up yesterday feeling really, really sad about my kids getting so old. The funny thing is, I wasn't sad over Mackenzie and Cameron moving out. I was really sad thinking about Grayson. He is a junior now and next year will be a senior and then.......oh my goodness college and then.......moving out and I'll be down to one. BOO-HOO-SOBBBBB. I think for me one of the ways that I dealt with the sadness with my older two boys growing up was that I still had the "little boys". You see even though Mackenzie and Cameron are 21 months apart they were only one grade apart, so Kenz graduated in 2003 and Cam graduated the very next year in 2004. I was double hit! I was a mess for awhile crying all the time, I want to share that in more detail and I will blog about it more one day. But at that time I kept saying, yes this is very hard to go through, but I still have the little boys, they still need me, God isn't through with me yet, I still have a purpose.

Well, fast forward 4 years and now my little boys are not little anymore and Grayson is a junior already and Hayden is already in 8th grade! Slow down please!!! Oh, I do not want to go through the grieving I went through when Mackenzie and Cameron graduated! It was very hard on me, but I did get better! That is why I have been so thankful that I have not cried that my older have moved out. I really thought I might get hit hard again when they moved out, but I didn't.

Waking up like I did on Sunday morning was shocking to me and I was not prepared. I immediately got out of bed, turned on the cozy lights, got my cup of coffee, turned on my favorite CD, lit a candle and started praying, writing in my journal and reading scripture. God is so amazing! I just slowly started feeling joy, His joy, and a peace, a peace that surpasses understanding. He made me and He knows my heart. I know that He cares when I hurt and He comforts me! I was able to move on through the day, we went to church and had a very pleasant day, and I did feel joyful and happy.

Here are the some of the scriptures that touched me, they are found in Psalm 55. The Psalms are full of wonderful scriptures that are so comforting. David wrote this Psalm when a friend hurt him. I think it is so wonderful that David wrote such beautiful passages for us to read because he was a man after God's own heart; he knew God very well. These scriptures show that even though David knew God so well and was favored by God he still was vulnerable and human, he still messed up, made mistakes, got scared, got down and felt alone and sad. I am comforted when I read the Psalms because it makes me realize that David had bad days too, but he called upon the name of the Lord for strength, peace and protection and God listened to him and answered him and comforted him. The beauty is God does that for me too!

Psalm 55:1-2 "Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my cry for help! Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles."

Psalm 55:16-17 "But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon and night I plead aloud in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice."

Psalm 55:22 "Give your burden to the Lord, and He will take care of you."

Here I was all sad about having an empty nest on Sunday, but then tonight I came home from work and Eric was out in the garage tinkering. Grayson had football practice and went straight to work at the gas station and works until 10:00 tonight. Hayden had an away football game at 4:00 that we could not attend because of our jobs and he won't be home until 8:00. I had just taken off my coat when Eric said, "what's for dinner tonight?" I said, "spaghetti", and he said, "You shouldn't cook all that food, no one will be home, why don't we order Chinese take out?!"I said, "Sure! That would be fun, good and easy!" My house was clean, the way I left it this morning and I didn't have to cook! I think there will be some good things to the empty nest and I just need to trust God and keep moving forward through it all. I almost feel like there is a part of me that is trying to be all sad and down about the good ole days and I'm not letting myself enjoy these nice moments of solitude with a little less responsibility. This could end up being pretty nice!

Like I say under my default picture.......Looking forward to what lies ahead!

~ Sharon


Jan Parrish said...

God keeps telling me not to worry about tomorrow for today had enough trouble of its own. :)

My kids both married this summer- a month and a half apart. How's that for shocking? The transition is hard but God will see you through. Now I get to anticipate grandchildren in the far future.

nannykim said...

I found that after about a month of each child leaving I had adjusted and loved the fact that they were doing what I raised them to be--independent adults. I also have found much joy in a renewed alone time with my husband. In fact we are so used to our togetherness and quietness that we have to adjust when the kids come home !! Weird!

Christina said...

Wow! Great post!!! And a great reminder...
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I think that I'll tinker around on your a while!!!

Hootin'Anni said...

When things got 'rough' for me I always came back to my thoughts that my mom instilled in me [bless her heart] ---"God only gives us what we can handle". Yes, there is bright sides to having an empty nest...and there is sadness to see them leave. But if you look on the bright side, some day perhaps there'll be a full house again..........filled with bright and shining lights of THEIR offspring. Your grandchildren.

Mimi said...

it does take a while to get over the "empty Nest" feeling...(especially if they move far away)... but the next phase of your life will be even better than the last ...
you are back to being just the two of you like when you first married... but you have all these others to love.... and WOW when the grand kids come along you feel a love like no other!!!

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